Jacinda Ardern is famously quoted as saying;

“One of the criticisms I’ve faced over the years is that I’m not aggressive enough or assertive enough or maybe somehow, because I’m empathetic I’m weak. I totally rebel against that. I refuse to believe that you cannot be both compassionate and strong.”

Did you know there are three types of empathy? Daniel Goleman and Paul Ekman, renowned psychologists, have based much of their work on exploring cognitive, emotional and compassionate empathy.

They explain them as:

“Cognitive empathy – simply knowing how the other person feels and what they might be thinking.”

“Emotional empathy – what you feel physically along with the other person, as though their emotions were contagious.”

“Compassionate empathy – with this kind of empathy, we not only understand a person’s predicament and feel with them, but it moves us to take action to help however we can.”

Goleman defines empathy as,

“skill at sensing other people’s emotions, understanding their perspective, and taking an active interest in their concerns.”

It is the balance between cognitive and emotional empathy that enables us to be aware yet not jump into problem solving mode.

To be an empathic leader is having the ability to understand feelings, thoughts and attitudes of others. This type of leader has a genuine interest in the lives of their team, colleagues and co-workers.

In terms of leadership, is empathy a talent or a skill? It is both!

Some leaders might have a natural leaning towards an empathetic style whereas for others it is a skill they have learnt.

It is, however, a way of being that does need to be practised to get stronger.

What to look for in an empathic leadership style:

Shift from I to we

Talk about the team, those you work with and appreciatetheir contribution, which is adopting a servant leadership approach rather than an individualistic authoritarian leader.

Be fully present

Focus on the individual or team when with them. Avoid looking at your phone or doing emails while also having a conversation.

Be human and approachable

Your team might not need to know your life story, knowing who you are, what motivates you, what you’re interested in and about your time outside of work builds connections. Be the person your team can look to for support, guidance and help.

Actively listen – find the why

Understand before acting. Look to understand the reasons for someone behaving in a certain way or doing something out of character. Looking to understand, from a place of being judgement free means you’re more likely to see the situation from a different perspective.

Build trust

Lead by example and show your team you trust others, own mistakes, don’t place blame, communicate openly and know each other.

Be aware of your body language

Be aware of how your body language is showing you’re open to listening, uncross your arms, lean slightly forward, make eye contact and be aware of when you’re feeling tense or if your shoulders are raised.

Flexible

Be open and able to adapt to others’ ideas and opinions. The strength in a team is the combined knowledge and being able to implement new ideas.

Encourage those who are quiet

Some of the best ideas and contributions from within your business will be from those who are the quietest. Find a way that works for them to get their voices heard and ideas acted upon.

Get to know those in your team and who you work with

If you want people to care about your business, organisation or team, then show that you care about them.

Be open and feedback

To feedback, advice or insights to another effectively we need to have empathy for what the other person is experience, especially if the other person is getting defensive.

Benefits of empathetic leadership style

• Higher employee engagement and retention levels
• Motivated and passionate teams/ leaders
• Strong sense of purpose and belonging
• Higher productivity
• Increase company reputation

If you’re looking to increase your empathy as a leader, you could look at your emotional intelligence known as EQ in the whole. EQ focusses on empathy, motivation, self-reflection, managing relationships, social awareness and self-control.

• When looking at the traits of empathetic leaders, how many are you using?
• Which ones could you reflect on and perhaps, introduce into your leadership style?
• What have I missed that is important to include?
• What works the best for you and in your team?

Ask yourself:

• What specific areas do you see or have you had feedback on that if you worked on, could improve your current role and your next career move?
• How would your work and personal relationships be improved?
• How would greater emotional intelligence increase your happiness, health and well-being?